FruitMonster.com

So in the time that I have been maintaining this blog, I have not been as thorough in my postings as I had originally planned. Now I have my excuses for why this site has not filled up with info as rapidly as my overenthusiastic and optimistic self expected – an excursion to Oz, but I’ll spare you from all of my wussy whining. But with that move behind me, my life has finally taken a turn for a calmer place. With a little more free time, I hope to be delivering more than just twitter feeds and recipes to this page – I want to write up a sweet tasting, frugivorian storm.

Watch out! Monsters!

Wait, wait, hold on, you’ve lost me mr. mango-monster-mash, a what-storm? Ok, you’ve caught me, I made that word up - frugivorian. But the root word’frugivore’, I did not create of my own conniving. A ‘frugivore’ is one who primarily/solely survives by eating fruit. And as far as categories go, that term describes the way that I eat fairly well. A frugivore, by definition is an animal (in my case a human) for whom fruit is the preferred food type. My favorite example of a ‘frugivore’ is the orangutan, who gets up to 90% of is calories from fruits, filling up the rest of his hungry tummy with leaves, vines, flowers, nuts, bark, and insects. Now I haven’t eaten insects since a 10th grade science experiment (roasted crickets!), my appendix no longer is functional (I can no longer digest bark) and I prefer to picking flowers and keeping them on my desk at work over their consumption… but I’m loving the rest of that orangutan diet – fruits and leafy greens! Did you know that humans and orangutans share 97% of their genetic make up in common? It’s sure obvious that the 3% makes quite a difference in the end product, but that orangutan diet might be something to keep in mind for future reference…

Another word that could be used to categorize the way that I eat would be ‘fruitarian’. By modern definition a fruitarian is one who lives off of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and, sometimes, grains. ‘Fruits’ is actually a broader category than most people realize, including any food where seeds are surrounded by flesh, which means that avocados, tomatoes, bell peppers (that’s a ‘capsicum’ down under), eggplants and cucumbers are all fruits! Hooray! People in this category still eat nuts and grains, both of which I generally avoid (we’ll get to why in subsequent posts), so the diet I follow might not be best ‘captured’ by this term.

Wait, That's Not a Fruit!

So since the frugivore definition is pretty loose (a diet needing only >50% fruit) and a fruitarian still builds a diet around nuts and grains… I guess I still have not found a term that correctly captures the diet I live on and am promoting with this webpage. So what term are we left with? It seems there is not one available at the moment. Well never fear! It just so happens that I have a personal history of making up my own words (ahem… ‘frugivorian’ anyone?) and I’ve just the one for this occasion! A ‘fruitmonster’! And since I’ve invented this word, I’ve been audacious enough to dub myself ‘The FruitMonster’ (that’s FM for shortsies..there I go again) and create this webpage! Now, due to the chaos of recent months which I mentioned at the begininning of this post, I’ve yet to correctly define what the heck a ‘fruitmonster’ actually is and thereby highlight what this webpage is all about.

So What is a ‘Fruitmonster’ Exactly?

So here goes…

A ‘fruitmonster’ is a term used to identify a member of society who has a voracious appetite for general fruit-stuffs, consuming them in large quantities. These melon-headed, grape-eyed, tomato-snatchers are known for consuming 90% of their diet as fruits and leafy greens. In doing so, a fruitmonster will have a well-developed penchant for placing entire heads of lettuce, whole fruits and heaps of dates into high powered blenders, force feeding obscene volumes of apples, oranges and stalks upon stalks of kale into juice machines, as well as eating spinach and mangoes by the pound (errr…kilo). Remarkably, these beings seem to become, over time, completely unfazed by the fried potato and greasy pizza ways of their peers and family members, preferring instead bananas by the bunch and dates by the dozen. As a result, fruitmonsters have been known to devour entire platters of strawberries, mandarins and watermelons at social functions, leaving neighboring plates of cookies, crackers and cakes untouched, causing both confusion and concern in uninformed onlookers, leading some to utter phrases such as ‘we’ve been monstered’ when remarking upon the rapidly emptied, clearly undersized dishes. Fruitmonsters readily reject all forms of pus-laden lactation, bacterially rotten moldforms and bird ovulation, while also refusing all opportunities to intake dead flesh.

In a more succinct review – a fruitmonster will consume a high carb, low fat diet (one inline with the 80/10/10 diet) with a target of 90% of intake in the form of fruits and leafy greens This diet is made possible by blending up large (~1 Liter) green smoothies and drinking plenty of fresh juices in sizable quantities (~1.5 Liter). An important qualification for a fruitmonster is the avoidance of all meats and animal products (aka a vegan!), preferring raw or lightly cooked meals whenever possible.

It's Me! The FruitMonster!

As the FruitMonster, I target 19 of my approximately 21 meals (that’s 90%!) consumed a week to consist solely of fruity and leafy green goodness (a variety of veggies may also make occasional appearances – e.g. broccoli, carrots, asparagus, sweet potato). I’d like to credit Mr. Orangutan with that magic 90% number, but it has its roots in another line of reasoning. I’ve chosen that 90% target primarily for social reasons, leaving me room to eat a few ‘normal’ (but low-fat) meals a week. This allows me to go out to eat on a date with my fiance, attend a dinner with colleagues or accept a lunch date with a friend. Many fruitarians/raw-food types/health nuts don’t allow themselves these types of excursions, believing a much more strict, 100% adherence policy should be in place for their diets. I personally do not believe this is the most fulfilling way to live, nor do I believe it healthy to isolate yourself completely from the food-driven aspects of society (no matter how backwards they may be!). When going out for a lunch with a friend, you can grab a low-fat vegan burrito, or a veggie inspired sub-sandwich or a refreshing bowl of mushroom soup and still have a vibrantly healthy body afterwards (although you do notice these meals are not nearly as refreshing or ‘light’ as fruit based ones!). There is no need to punish ourselves here! Being too strict can break you, or lead you to give up on a healthy lifestyle completely!

So there, I’ve finally defined what a ‘fruitmonster’ is, and what type of diet I am advocating with this website. I am quite happy to finally have been able to finish such a fundamental post! One that will be referenced by many more posts to come. And speaking (well…’writing’ rather) of future posts, I’ve sure got some explaining to do! Such explanations mainly consist of addressing the barrage of concerns, criticisms and outright rejections of the fruitmonster lifestyle! In the next series of posts, I will be highlighting why a high carb, low fat diet based on fruits and leafy greens is not just a way to survive, but rather THE way to thrive. This type of diet is the way your body was meant to be fed, and there is some remarkably interesting logic and research to support it (I’ve already written one such post on protein intake!).

Remember that orangutan fellow? The one with the ‘old-guy in the wind’ hairdo and goofy gait? Well don’t forget about him, because he’s been officially adopted as the FruitMonster.com mascot!  More on this to come!

Life Is Sweet, Eat It Up!

Peace, Love and FRUIT.

Lookout! An Orange-Headed, Pot-Bellied Fruitmonster!